Top Four Frustrations of Social Media

Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay. No longer is there need for verbal conversation with a person in the same room when you can use your phone to send short text messages and Facebook pokes. Twitter helps you reduce your thoughts to 140 characters all the while being completely anonymous. Yep, social media is here to stay. People have whole relationships on social media and may never meet in person. As it changes names and form, it imbeds itself so deeply in our lives that our physical interactions are reduced even more. Social media reminds me of the end result of a bad sci-fi movie of the future with an electronic dependent civilization. Since it is here, I must admit I am one of those who embraces and uses this form of communication. I am probably promoting this article on at least three forms of social media besides this blog. Yes, I drank the Kool-Aid and became one of the collectives.

Now, just because I use social media, doesn’t mean I completely agree with all of the things that go along with the medium. One of my biggest pet peeves is the equivalent to the chain letter from high school only on social media. These little annoyances pop up from your trusted friends who feel the need to spoil your day with a guilt trip call to action in order to save this cute little kitten or some other equally emotional cause. All you have to do is share this link on your timeline, twitter feed, or Google page. By doing so, you become the manipulator of the next guilt trip.

NEWS FLASH: Posting something on your wall never saved that damn kitten.

Now that we have cleared up this little mess and put it to bed, let’s take a look at a few other areas which annoy the hell out of…well, me.

1. NO, in fact, I do not want to play Candy Crush. I have an addictive personality and if you get me started on a game, I am likely to lose track of the rest of the world for a couple weeks until an intervention is carried out. Please keep that silly invite to yourself as well as your new high score. Candy Crush is the new Farmville on the annoyance meter. Stop playing and look up from your phone. There is a whole world out there to explore. Read a book or something.
2. I have seen this meme. If by seeing, you meant it has been shared by every known person on the internet. I will admit it was funny the first three or four times, but you are late to the funny party and should have gotten the hint when you also have seen it over and over the past month.
3. Speaking of memes, whoever is creating memes needs to get some new pictures. Can we agree to retire the following images:
   1. Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka – just creepy on so many levels
   2. Patrick Stewart’s Captain Picard- yes, it was funny to have his raised hand captioned with a vulgar word the first fifty times.
   3. Lawrence Fishburne’s Morpheus – I get it, you have a choice between the two pills, how about giving me both- we will act like this never happened.
   4. Any Victorian Era Sketch – who ever dug up the old Hallmark cards and started throwing insulting phrases, commentary on drinking habits, and “how I really don’t like you” phrases should be committed to a room with every meme plastered to the walls as a form of punishment.
4. What constellation are you? What character in Game of Thrones are you? What horrific monster are you? What type of idiot are you? Oh, the last one is the only one that I think should be played. Yes, the annoying “What <fill in the blank> are you?” chain post. I do not care about which character you are in any fictional television show. Want to know a secret, neither do the rest of your friends. We have already figured out what type of idiot you are – the one that plays silly Facebook games.

I am sure there are many more annoying things about Facebook and social media in general, but I should wrap up here to allow my blood pressure to come back down to normal. Besides, it is my turn on Words with Friends. Did you see my high score posted on Facebook?

Until next time…

jerry b.

© 2014

 

A Little Advice for Hell…Or Hell’s Kitchen

The summer season of television begins.  It is the time when reality shows attempt to pull in viewers that are a little lazy from the heat to do much else. Around our household, we let the DVR capture the broadcast as we enjoy our summer fun. I have stated before that I am not a huge fan of trash television but everyone has to go slumming once in a while to get perspective. One of the shows that we slip off into the low-rent neighborhood gives us our favorite foul-mouthed chef, Gordon Ramsay with Hell’s Kitchen. What better way to relax in the evening than watching contestants belittled, as profanities are thrown at them through a high paced dinner service? Now before we go further, understand this is not one of televisions’ crowning moments but a step into the waste that we call reality television. The competition between the cooking hopefuls is filled with constant stress, conflicting personalities, and a host that pushes them to the limits while rarely handing out compliments. Wait, that sounds exactly like the other reality shows (and a few of my old bosses).

 

What you need to know before you go to hell.

 

Hell’s Kitchen is in its tenth season in the U.S. and continues to capture audience’s approval. In the competition, the hopeful chefs compete for a chance to continue their hell as the head chef of one of Chef Ramsay’s many international restaurants. In review, you spend the entire competition being humiliated, screamed at, and the prize is … more of the same. Where do I sign up? The show is filled with cleverly edited situations that imply that none of the contestants are competent enough to make a grilled cheese sandwich at a school’s cafeteria.

My only wish for the show is for it to be aired on a cable station, as viewer spend most of the show trying to figure out what nature of profanity was used in each scene. And by each scene, I am not exaggerating. The producers of the show spend hours of overtime bleeping and putting “fuzzy bubbles” over the mouths of Chef Ramsay and the want-to-be chefs. There are so many bleeps that our household created a drinking game where a shot is taken after each foul-mouth epithet. The results were many missed endings and massive next day hangovers. This game should not be played by anyone that wants to keep their liver in one piece. A variation of the game can be played where you have to drink every time Chef Ramsay croaks out “IT’S RAAWWWW!” This might prolong your liver, but not by much.

In order to be on the show, contestants do not need to have a lot of experience but the passion to cook. However, after nine completed seasons, you would think that the hopefuls would figure a few things out before attempting to go for the prize. Let’s help them out with a little Hell’s Kitchen common sense.

• My first suggestion is to watch the damned show! After nine years, you would think that the people who go on the show would actually understand that they are about to be flayed on a daily basis for five weeks. They must endure no sleep, constant abuse, and bitchy team mates. Just look at it as going to boot camp with food. So quit whining about it!
• After seeing the show, you should know that no matter how good you think you are, you are a piece of under-cooked dog shit in the eyes of a professional television chef. That is why we watch the show. It gives a reason to feel better about ourselves while watching you be bullied and abused. Thanks for the pick-me-up.
• If you win a challenge and get a fancy trip to some exotic place, plan on failing the next food service. It is written in the stars that you will find yourself feeling the brunt of Ramsay’s rage. Additionally, refrain from drinking in excess during your time on the show. From personal experience, dealing with hangovers while being screamed at is not conducive to peak performance.
• We are watching you. After you are finished with the filming and head back to your normal life, these moments will be aired for all to see. Some of these not-so-shining moments will be on the season’s DVD. You don’t want to go to a future employer, love interest, or your children and show them how much of a douche you were on national television. Though from our couch, we find it entertaining.
• Learn the basic dishes. Every season, it amazes us that people do not know how to cook the show’s staple dishes. If you can’t cook scallops, beef wellington, or risotto to perfection every time, well, Fuck off!

Armed with these little tidbits of advice from a seasoned observer, you too can go on to be ridiculed by Americans everywhere as we sit on our comfortable couches, playing a drinking game at your expense. Here is little advice for the competitors.  After you have had your ass handed to you by Chef Ramsay, the next step in your career awaits, I hear that Denny’s is hiring for the overnight shift. You will be appreciated there.

Until next time…

jerryb

© 2012

Related Post: The Modern Addiction or How We Killed Imagination

Rush Hour Reading

Driving in rush hour traffic is something that must be faced when you are part of the corporate treadmill. Travelling one-way for an hour can be tedious with very few bright moments. Entertainment can be found in imagining stories behind the drivers in the cars around you. In the Ford ahead of you, the driver puts on makeup as she eases through 10 mph traffic; she could be an executive or work in retail. In the work truck beside you the driver may be nursing a hangover from the night before and not just be stressed out ready to blow. The aggressive driver behind you is trying to pass but you are conveniently entertaining yourself by closing each opportunity. As he lays on the horn and makes obscene gestures, you wonder what are the triggers for road rage and exactly how far can you push the line. This is the modern day entertainment that begins my work day. I smile to myself as I realize entertainment can be found anywhere. Then suddenly I lose my good humor.

Just a few cars ahead of me to the right was a brand new BMW sedan. As all beautiful BMWs should be, it had high polished black paint, tinted windows, and the distinctive logo. What caused my mood to crumble was next to the BMW logo was a poorly placed bumper sticker. The sticker was skewed and bright pink, promoting some random idea that had little worth for the viewing public.

Who would do something so stupid?

Why do we ruin our cars this way?

 

Why would anyone buy a $60,000 car and slap a fifty-cent, obnoxious day-glo pink bumper sticker on the trunk. The driver’s first mistake was putting the sticker on the car at all. Then after that idiotic thought, why put the gaudy sticker on the trunk? Obviously the mental deficiency that allowed the beamer owner to get this far extended even further into laziness as they could not even take a few more seconds to put the damn thing on straight. Some of us will work our whole lives and not even come close to having the ability to afford a car of this caliber. Here I am sitting in stopped traffic, trying desperately to advert my eyes from the highly offensive example of bad taste. Defacing the BMW with the obnoxious sticker seems like the equivalent to drawing a mustache on the Mona Lisa.

I am finally able to pull up alongside the driver, lean over enough to look over and witness the owner of this rolling offense. Sitting behind the wheel is nothing less than a Jersey Shores’ reject. Her black hair is teased 80s style and framing collagen- filled lips that would embarrass Angelina Jolie. The leopard print steering wheel cover almost matched her blouse and at this point, I have lost all hope for humanity.

Bumper stickers do have their place. Without bumper stickers plastered all over it, that twenty-year-old rust-bucket, in the lane next to you, might not stay held together long enough to arrive at its destination. Bumper stickers are from a time past when bumpers were made of metal and you could hide the rust beneath a sticker. In many cases, bumper stickers were more stylish and durable than Duct tape. However, with today’s cars, it seems that the sun has set on our adhesive friends. With all the body parts painted on cars now, bumper stickers do nothing more than ruin the paint and deface an otherwise beautifully styled car.

With a final scornful glance at the driver, I think to myself there is a man out there who has to deal with this woman and I truly pity him. With a deep sigh, I close off another opportunity for the red-faced driver behind me and move on through the morning rush hour.

Until next time…

jerry b

© 2012

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Upon waking each morning, I drift to consciousness to the sounds of the morning news playing in my bedroom as my wife gets ready. Slipping in and out of wakefulness, I pull on the threads of my dreams and wonder what journey I travelled through during the night. It always amazes me that my dreams, those that I can dig out of my limited sleep memory, are more akin to full Technicolor movies than disjointed images. They say that dreams are the brain’s way of dealing with issues that the conscious mind cannot deal with. Other ideas are based around the need for the human brain to rest and it entertains itself by giving it something to do while it rebuilds the body after a day of stimulus. Whatever the cause, I can honestly say my dreams can be something of an epic story.

Unlike other people I know who long for the peace of sleep; I am not one that is easily drawn to sleep. I fight turning the light off and giving myself over to the blissful silence of the darkened room. It is partially due to the desire to experience life as much as I can. Looking back, the comment must have been made at an early age that “I will sleep when I am dead”.  Not that I actually buy into that line of thinking, but it makes for a quick quip when someone chastises me about only sleeping five hours a night. There are so many things I want to do and it can’t be too much of a cliché if it is true. I need more than twenty-four hours a day to do all that I want to do.

There is also the pleasure of the silent house after everyone goes to bed. The darkness folds around each dark corner, breeding thoughts and potential horrors that only the mind can imagine. Read enough stories of paranormal beings haunting an unsuspecting protagonist and even the sturdiest of minds will get lost in the slightest creak or shift beyond the reach of the dim lamps. A few might say this is why I don’t sleep much but I have to admit, there are few things that excite me more than the imagination of what might be in the shadows. Walking through a dark house, how many of you let your imagination cause your heart to pound in your chest, your pace quicken as you almost sprint to the edge of the light? The feeling you get when you walk through a darkened room and almost experience the reach of a hand brushing past you from the dark can be exhilarating. Just when you think that you will make it to the safety of the lamp’s luminosity, the air conditioner kicks on with a rattle, breaking your resolve. Once in the light, your heart pounding, you laugh at the grown person still jumping at dark and its nefarious possibilities.

This fear drifts over into our dreams and produces the tendrils that grip us in our sleep. Think back to when you are startled awake in the middle of the night, brought out of your deeper sleep and remembering the flashes of your dreams. At that moment, the veil of dream and reality are blurred, mingling together to reveal what is truly hidden in the dark, or what our mind creates to explain its fears. This is the moment that we gasp, heart pounding, and sit up in bed searching for what brought us awake. When nothing is discovered, our head falling down to the pillow, our mind starts creating explanations. Changing the dreams we are captive in to reflect the terror that courses through our now active bloodstream, we fold back into sleep.

In the morning light, the news anchors cheerfully spew out stories about death, fires, and the continued uncomfortable weather as I pull at the threads of my dreams. Fading back into sleep, in search of that movie like dream causes so many emotions in me throughout the night only to stumble through darkness without any hope of finding it.  I search it out as I know that if the images could only stay with me a little longer; I would be able to write them down, sharing them with others to give life to more dreams. Abandoning my futile quest, I begrudgingly embrace the day and give up hopes on the elusive story. The rest of the day will bring brief flashes of my terror, taunting me of what is to come when I again sleep. One of these days, I will catch it and give it life in the world for others, until that day, I am forever chasing my dream.

Until next time…

jerryb

©2011

Convertibles, Winehouse, and Surviving the End of the World

Time to be great.

Well, it finally happened. I can’t hold it in any longer so here it is spilling out onto the screen. You know, the little observations building inside wanting to bubble out but, when you try sharing them with others, it doesn’t have the same “umph” it did in your head while you were observing it. In my head, I have a little filing cabinet in which I keep just such little tidbits about the world around me. Though some will not agree and others will just shake their heads while walking away, I have to unload them, spread them out for others to share, comment, and poke fun at. Why must I do this? Can’t I just leave them stuffed quietly in their drawer collecting dust? Well, I could but, there is a problem. If I keep these observations hidden in their dark little corners, I will eventually spew (yes, I said it) out all over the unsuspecting public in the most inappropriate way. So, like any well-behaved, moderately shy person, I am going to dump them here and make room for the next batch. Once released into the wild, they will no longer haunt my thoughts. Shall we begin?It ever amazes me people will spend an obscene amount of money on a shiny sports car that will do 0 to 60 in less time than it takes a hooker to collect her payment, only to sit right beside me in the same rush hour traffic day in and day out. For all of the speed and prestige their $60,000 glittering, over-compensation tool may hold, rush hour is the great equalizer, leaving them rolling along at a whopping 5 miles per hour. They are so proud of their little convertibles they think nothing at all of showing all of us, in 5 pm traffic hell, how completely cool they are by keeping the top down in 100 degree temperatures, all the while blinding us with their gleaming bald spots. Can I say “hair care for men”? Seriously!

While we are on the subject of convertibles, exactly how much hair spray does it take to keep one’s hair in place while driving down the highway? I am not talking about mostly in place. This is the “not a hair moving at 60 miles per hour” helmet hair. Not really something that screams “sexy” in my book. Somewhere, an elderly Aqua Net sales representative is collecting his bonus check.

Speaking of bonuses, what is the driving factor in the argument over the national budget? The last time I saw so many people getting paid so much money to accomplish absolutely nothing would be the St. Louis Blues about five years ago. Or could it have been the Rams last year and the year before that? We live in a country which elects its representatives who have not represented anything but their own bank accounts for as long as anyone can remember. In fact, it almost seems the politicians are working against the country-forget the whole represent the people thing.  We spend money on programs that lead nowhere while good programs have to panhandle for funds just to keep going. Corporations hold out their hands and get billions, of dollars to produce sub-par products and whine when nobody wants to buy them anymore. It isn’t like we have many good choices at the polls either to make a change. As long as our representatives are catering to the special interest groups and fighting just for the sake of fighting, their padded bonuses will continue to swell while we will continue to fall further and further from the mark.

How do you segue from politics to Amy Winehouse? I am not sure, but we lost a great, wonderful person in the not too distant past, a shining star in the music industry, an inspiration to all the little tweens out there. Who am I kidding? Winehouse is just another example of the media picking a scab. Over the years, Amy was known more for her off stage substance abuse and less for her musical talent. She had a song all about resisting rehab -it is not like we didn’t see this coming. Even in her tabloid obituary photos, the media reports are showing pictures of her arrest and drunken antics. The one thing that upsets me the most about her untimely passing is that, because she died at the young age of twenty-seven, they are comparing her to the truly legendary musicians, such as Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain, who are members of the rock and roll’s ’27 club’. This group of musicians passed away at the same age as our recently departed Winehouse. I hope that music historians don’t look back and idolize Winehouse because she had the ill-timed, coincidental passing at the same age. Instead, they should look upon her as the poster child for television shows such as: Intervention, Celebrity Rehab, and COPS. And do we really have to point out that heroin is bad? The “tragic” deaths brought about by heroin recently are tragic because these people could not shake their addictions.  However like the aforementioned Winehouse, they were not unforeseen. So RIP Corey Montieth and Phillip Seymour Hoffman your talents will be missed but hopefully others will heed the lessons from your sad lives.

Speaking of fast cars and stupid celebrities, why must the breaking news be about Justin Bieber?  From egging his neighbor’s house, to driving too fast and recklessly through Florida in a rented-yes you guessed it-convertible sports car, Bieber has been off the rails.  He is not “news”, he is a cautionary tale to be told alongside the likes of another former child star like Lindsey Lohan. Their antics go beyond stupidity to just criminal and while we have to keep Lohan, can we give Bieber back to Canada now?

With all the tragedy all over the news and the decline of inspirational television, it is no wonder that the two largest growing entertainment segments are survival shows and zombies. Discovery Channel is producing a wealth of information on how to survive common situations. These are the situations that you may find yourself thrust into at any moment. Just think, you are on your way to the grocery store, and without warning, you are stuck in the jungles of Central America with only a piece of twine and cell phone battery. It could be that you are coming back from taking the children on a family vacation and get lost in the wilds of the Everglades. Who puts themselves in these situations? I will admit that I am a fan of these shows but by the time I am stranded on a remote Pacific island, I won’t be running through my mental index of how to find the nastiest bugs that will give me 20 mg of protein to survive on for the next three days. What happened to just taking your kids to Boy Scouts and learning how to start a fire with twine and a stick?

It isn’t surprising with the news that we see every morning, the greed and corruption around us at every turn, and the self-destructive idols marketed to us each day, why the idea of learning how to survive the end of civilization has become popular. Just think how many of these shows you have on your DVR right now or what books you are stockpiling on how to make tools like McGyver. Is it really any wonder that the end of the world brought on by flesh-eating zombies is more comforting than the age-old fear of destruction by World War III? At least we will be prepared…

Until next time…

jerry b

© 2011

 

The Good, The Bad, and The Lawsuit

I am a U.S. citizen. I have lived here, in the U.S. all my life. I have paid my taxes, taken care of my bills and have held a job. Does this entitle me to demand that someone pay me money without me putting in the time to earn it? Should I quit my job, sue whoever I can find as the object of my scorn? When did our society go from hard-working, get what you give, people to a country with those that have their hand out, wanting someone else to pay the bill.

News Flash: There is no such thing as a free lunch. Or is there?

 

Caution: Lawsuits may follow. © j.benns 2010

 

Who knew: In 1994, Stella Liebeck rode with her grandson to get her morning coffee. After purchasing her morning fix of coffee, her grandson parked the car and she proceeded to open the beverage container to put in her sugar and cream, spilling the contents. At this point, she received third degree burns and McDonald’s was the proud owner of a multi-million dollar lawsuit. Did the courts throw this out after hysterical laughter? No, in fact this case went to trial and Stella won the lawsuit.  How did a person who has lived for 79 years miss the lesson that coffee is hot and care is needed when handling? Was coffee cooler back in the day? This $.49 cup of coffee paid out $640,000. And I play the lotto for $2 a chance.  This was not the first frivolous lawsuit to be presented to the court but thanks to modern media, this was one of the first widely publicized. The ridiculous settlement not only gave Stella a windfall but also prompted a yearly award named in her honor, The Stella Awards. These awards are given to those that hijack our legal system for frivolous lawsuits. Does it end here? Not quite.

Where are my pants: Roy L. Pearson filed suit against his dry cleaner for losing his pants. Many have been upset at the mistakes that happen to our favorite appeal at the local dry cleaners but, Pearson felt that his mental anguish and loss was worth $67 million. Did I happen to mention that Pearson was an Administrative Law Judge? Thankfully, Pearson lost this lawsuit. It does remind me though, I would like to find and sue the young lady that still has my Bat Out of Hell: 2 concert t-shirt from the 90s. I still haven’t found it since she wore it. That has to be worth at least a few million bucks.

No good deed: In Durango, Colorado, two good-natured teenagers created a care package of yummy goodies for their neighbor.  They didn’t even want credit for it; they were delivering it anonymously. As they stepped on the porch, Wanita Young was started by their presence. So started, that the ungrateful resident sued the teens, even though they gave a written apology to Wanita. Was it because she didn’t like the cookies? No, she sued them for causing her undue distress; $3,000 worth of stress for stepping on her front porch.  Surprisingly, the court awarded her a sum of $900 from the neighborhood do-gooder. That will teach them to help someone.  I wonder how much I can get for the siding sale people who interrupt my Saturday afternoon television shows.

We can all appreciate legitimate legal action. However, our over-burdened courts are flooded daily with people trying to get a hand-out from those that have more. This only happens because of people like Stella, who are able to win unreasonable cases. As long as courts allow for such lawsuits to continue, we will have more people attacking otherwise hard-working individuals and companies. These s actions are causing higher insurance rates for businesses and higher costs to us.

S the next time you have too much to drink and run your car through the local auto parts store, just call your lawyer. You can sue the bar who sold you the alcohol, the auto manufacturer for not having a warning against driving while intoxicated, the police for not catching you and the auto parts store for being in your way. I see millions in your future.

Until next time…

© 2010

For more interesting Stella Awards, go to The Stella Awards

Sound Of Madness

I created the Sound of Madness.
Wrote the book on pain.
Somehow I’m still here,
To explain,
Shinedown…Sound of Madness

Oh, I do love the sound of the musical poet. I have mentioned it time and time again that music is the sound track of our lives but how it that the sound track gets more and more interesting as the year goes on. If anyone has ever said nobody feels their pain or understands what is happening in their life only needs to scan through their music collection. I will assure them that the pain they feel is lurking in there somewhere, shared by the tormented sole that poured it out for your listening pleasure.

For the record though, I have created the sound of madness. Or more correctly spoken, I do the written interpretation of madness. Day in and day out I look around the little world I live in and see the madness of it all. Each moment we live adds to the madness. Stopping to get you morning coffee can be an adventure when they mix up your drive with the herbal tea drinker in the car behind you. To the moment you’re sitting in front of your computer, typing out words on the screen. Madness is a state we all live in.

Should we run from the madness? I say no. Embrace your inner psychosis for what it really is: the realization that things don’t go the way we hope and plan but they still work out the way they are meant to be. We don’t have to understand why or what that is at the time but truthfully, isn’t that the point of madness.

Another lose cannon gone bi-polar
Slipped down, couldn’t get much lower.
Quicksand’s got no sense of humor.
I’m still laughing like hell.
Shinedown…Sound of Madness

What I truly suggest is not the giving up your self to fate and just letting things happen as they will but to look beyond what is happening. We need to fight for what we believe in and what we want but before you can do that, you have to know what that is suppose to be.

The hardest thing I have found to do is to look at things from the outside perspective. To see what is really going on. Why is it that you smiled at that person and gave them your number when you already have someone waiting for you at home? Could it be that you already know where the current relationship is going and there is something lacking? Another common situation is the not knowing  if you want to be somewhere or with someone. It isn’t a difficult decision to make but we have a tendency to hold on to what is there while we look for something better. The indecision of what you want and what you don’t want to give up. How is this so difficult to comprehend? Do you want to be there? Can you let them go? If answer is yes to either one of these then you have your answer. It isn’t like you need to make a chart and see what happens next or what you need to see happen. If it is not happening then move on. Life is too short. We are too fragile to open ourselves up to heartbreak, disappointment or rejection. 

That the darkest hour never comes in the night.
You can sleep with a gun.
When you gonna wake up and fight… for yourself?
Shinedown…Sound of Madness

You’re asking yourself if I am saying stay there or go. Leave things up to fate or fight for what you want. The answer is yes. Stay, go. Run, fight. All of these things are true. Find the one that works for your situation. I try to fight for what I believe in. I have hope that I am doing the right thing and it will work out. Try to cut my losses when failure is eminent. But most of all I try to live. The sound of madness is the result of living. What would you learn of love if your heart was never broken? How could you appreciate trust if you haven’t experiences the loss of it? What would you offer someone if you never fought or work though a problem? This is living and this is what gives up the lessons that are needed to bring something to the table. This is the sound of madness that we hear in the darkest of nights. The true test of faith and belief in oneself is how you deal with it.

Each of you have written your own book of pain as the song implies. Each of you have found a song that expresses what you feel at that moment. You are not alone in this world and your problems are not the first time in history someone has suffered. Just try to remember all those other songs in your collection that express the good time with friends, finding your true soul mate, and the good memories in your past. To forget those songs or to edit them out of your playlist will not show you where things can and will go. Have faith in yourself and patience.

What is your top five songs that grab the way you feel these days?

Falls Apart

And the hell of it is what we are
We finish and wish we could start again
Our skin tears away
As our memories fade with age
And we don’t even know ’til it’s gone?
Hurt….Falls Apart

I was thinking today on thing from my past and the lessons that I have learned. I wonder if I sabotage each of the relationships I have been because I haven’t figure out how they are supposed to work. We have this fairy tale image of what they are supposed to be like when we look at the movies. Not matter how disastrous it begins we still think in the end it will work out. If it is working out in the beginning we are looking for the reason of failure.

Once failure arrives, either by our own hands or by that of our partner, we scramble to save the pieces out of desperation. We try to talk through it and look for the things that are broken. We try to hard to fix it and forget why we were there in the first place. Mayhem and broken dream follow. Until the day it is over and you have nothing left by shattered memories and an aching heart. Searching for the answers as to what happened. That is easy, we happened.

We happened to it and there is only ourselves to blame.  We tried too hard or not hard enough. We lost site of the fact a relationship is a partnership that requires each to bring something to the table. There are sacrifices in other aspects of our lives to make it work. We have to make time for each other and make an effort if you want it to happen. Words alone will not put the pieces together. Actions and honesty will keep it from falling apart.

So lie like a waste by the side
As everything just falls apart
‘Cause everything just fell apart for me
Hurt…Falls Apart

So, what to do when it does fall apart? There are multiple answers to this question. We could walk away and leave the past in the past. Then you will lay awake at night and wonder if that was the right decision and sometimes it is. We could try to put the pieces back together but in only rare cases this can work.

Stepping back to remember why you were there in the first place and seeing if the direction each are heading is the same. This takes both parties to agree on. Fear of loss will generally push you to try again, even if it isn’t for the right reason. In the end only the two of you will know what course to take.

I wonder if the reason I am still wander out in the world of failed relationships is my lack of understanding or is it my desire to be with the wrong people. Those that are unavailable or cannot commit to being in the partnership of a relationship. Each person I am with satisfies a need that I have in some way but do they satisfy the majority of the needs that make the relationship worth while? My heart leads me into these issues that I have and the fear of losing the things that I enjoy keeps me beating my head against the wall. Is my life made up of a collage of different people who provide bits and pieces of my emotional and physical needs? Some stimulate my mind, while others make me laugh.  There are so many connection on so many levels and each of them bring forth a little bit of happiness.

When do we meet the person that completes and provides the whole package for us? Do we ever or do we settle for what is here right now? I guess that there are times when I want these answers and when I don’t need them at all. Which of these two mindsets is the real me?

And I don’t feel the need to go on
I was happier singing along the way
I had things, I need to say
Hurt…Falls Apart

Where is my muse?

Where is the muse? The deity that inspires us to create and guides us to take up our art has not made a visit to me in what seems like and eternity. Her presence has not been felt in the past week and I say her because as in most mythology, my imagination goes to a dark hairs goddess sporting her flowing toga. Not a very modern idea, I know, but one that is hard to dispel.

The life of a career, a student, a partner and a parent can bring many challenges to balance all the parts that make us who we are. Some are a requirement and others are a need. I hold each of the moments with my love precious and get protective of the time that I have with her. As a parent, my need is driven to be the best that I can be for my children, learning as they learn how to transition from one level to the next and hoping beyond hope that each decision is the right one for their future.

Being a student brought challenges in the past week as a deadline loomed and the desire to produce my best writing drove me to moments of frustration and inspiration danced away from me. I am over the hump with the paper and only the final edits are remaining for the next week as the class comes to a close. It is not the essay I intended it to be but one that has passed the test of compliance. I look forward to putting this class behind me and moving to the next.

As said before, my career, at one time, would define who I was. In the recent past, this focus has changed. The downfall is the apathy that comes with realization that it is just a job and each hour there is counted down. Seeking the moment where I can turn off the lights, shut down the computer and pack my things up for the evening. I rush out the door to start my evening with family and my partner.

My thoughts rarely leave her as I move through my day. The person I have sought since the moment of birth has been found. I wake to the look that crosses her face as I chase away the sleep, the routine of the morning is an exercise in restraint. Our desire to shut the door on the real world and slip back into bed is strong and requires discipline beyond what I knew before to not give in to the need. Each moment ticks away until the moment when I will leave the outside world at the closed-door of our bedroom to have the time for us.

The final piece of my life comes from my friends. Those people who I reach out to here as words on a screen to those that I enjoy in person conversations. I fill the moments with conversations and the sharing of ideas that warm me in ways I hadn’t given them a chance to in a previous life. Supporting each other in the good times where laughter prevails to the inevitable situations where a shoulder is needed to nuzzle against in the darker moments that life presents them.  Whether we are able to sit across from each other or only exist in the realm of word and images, each is just as important in my life as the next. The limitations of distance no longer exist.

Where is my muse? She has sees my life is full of many moments that need my attention. She stands back in the shadows waiting for the time when she may step into the light to give me the inspiration to my hovering fingers and let the emotions flow to the screen. I think I may see her movements as I type this. There is a hint of a smile and sparkle in her eyes as she nods to me. Maybe soon, she will whisper in my ear again.

Until next time…

~jerry b

© 2009

Life’s Little Frustrations

We all have them. Then nagging moments when you feel the urge to scream out your frustrations. In an effort to share some of those moments, I have compiled a list of the things that may or may not bring about the personal explosion that comes from the uncontrollable stupidity or frustration. Most of the time, it is your own fault.

Life’s frustrations:

1. When you need tech support for your system and all the IT friends are busy. Or being an IT person and not having time to fix your own broken computers.
2. Thinking that you will just fill up the gas tank in the morning only to find out it jumped up 30 cents while you were sleeping.
3. Wearing an outfit that is appropriate to the weather outside but not knowing what the temperature in your office will be. Hence the freezing in the summer or the feeling of on a winter day. Where is the office weather forecast?
4. Spending an hour doing inventory and making a list before going to the grocery store only to realize, once you’re at the store, that you forgot it on the table at home.
5. Spending the whole day at work wishing that you could get something done only to get a “must do” task 45 minutes before the end of day.
6. Making a sandwich and realizing that the last, and most important ingredient, is the thing you told the children they could have the night before, leaving none left for your masterpiece.
7. Realizing that the traffic report’s explanation of the hour-long backup is actually caused by your broken down pile of junk that you call a car.
8. The day our favorite show is doing the series finale is also the day Mother Nature decides to give you the worse storm in history, knocking out all power, satellite and cable for thousands in your area.
9. Leaving work, fighting the lunch time traffic across town only to find that the bank that you desperately needed to get money from is closed for some obscure holiday.
10. Waking up after a post-sexual escapade nap only to remember that your child is having friends over. This realization comes as you stumble into them, naked, on your way to the bathroom.

Finally, this is an example of one of the most frustrating things. Expecting there to be something worth while to read when you click on someone’s blog only to find out it has been a waste of your last few minutes of your life that you will never get back. Wanna scream now?

Until next time…

© 2009

Have Some Sympathy

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for long, long years
Stole many man’s soul and faith
Rolling Stones…Sympathy For The Devil

As I read the words shining before me on the monitor, my thoughts race. My throat tightens as I read the words again. They were spoken in jest but the meaning is clear to me. It isn’t the first time my playfulness has prompted that thought.

“You are the devil incarnate.”

The cursor flashes back to me as I think of the response. What is it that I do that prompts this reaction? I only intend on exploring your thoughts and desires, to garner understanding for both parties involved. The questions I ask are meant to search beyond what is spoken of in general conversation and dive deep into the shadows, seeking out where the dust bunnies of your mind hide the secrets and desire so dark that they aren’t admitted to even you.

What inspired you to say those words? I look over the conversation, turning the words over in my head.

“…my breath warms your neck as my lips hover over the softness of your skin, teasing you with the anticipation of what is to come. You feel my fingers entwining in your hair, the tension increasing as you feel the moistness of my lips touching you neck just below jaw. A gasp builds in you as my mouth traces a line down. Kissing and teasing of what is to come, I whisper to you, “tell me what you want” as your breath quickens…”

These words work their way over the screen. How could this be evil at this point? I am just looking for the reaction to the words, painting a picture if I may. I am testing the boundaries you declare you have in hopes of discovering something new that was never seen before. Is this evil? I think not.

“…I feel the pulse against my lips as my teeth summon the pleasure from you. Your breath comes in gasps as I explore your neck. Each move has intent; each drawing of my breath sends sensations through you. I whisper in your ear “What are your boundaries? How far will you go?” The only response is a gasp as my voice resonates through you. My hand caresses your cheek, turning you to expose more of your neck to me. “Do you want me to stop?” I whisper, feeling your body tense against me. Your response is a mixture of a moan and one word, “No.”…”

This is a typical conversation for an afternoon when I am unmotivated to work and seeking new excitement. What starts as a friendship, turns to exploration. Will I see something I haven’t seen before? Discover a hidden room where the desires go beyond what I have found in my quest to understand?

I do not find it any semblance of evil in this quest. I see if the words can entice an emotion, a reaction, or a new openness.  I can see in the theater of my mind not only the images that I type, but the reaction of the reader, imagining how they are shifting in their chair, waiting on the next message.

At what point does that become evil? If evil decided to walk the Earth, why would it choose me as its vessel? For the record: I am not the devil incarnate. See, he offers temptation of wealth, fame, etc. in exchange for your soul. In the end you don’t get what you want but a trick of the wording, He is such a con-artist. I however, offer temptation and offer only pleasures and companionship in exchange for the same. My deal is much better than his. I don’t appreciate being compared to that hack. He gives us all a bad name. I do not want your soul … well, maybe a piece of it, but not the whole thing. That would be too much responsibility.

“… a shiver flows through your body as my hand slides down your neck, across your shoulder. My fingertips continue to move across your soft skin leaving a trail of sensations. My breath, teasing your flesh as my hand …umm, sorry I have to go, I have a meeting…”

And here I am, left with this message on my screen …

“Damn you! You are the devil incarnate!”

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste
Rolling Stones…Sympathy For The Devil

Until next time…
~jerry b

© Jerry B. 2008